All of us need someone in our lives that is completely SAFE. Do you have someone in your life where you know that whatever you say, you will not be judged? Do you have someone you can simply be yourself? Blow off steam and have it not held against you? Life can be hard and we all need someone in our corner, a person we can trust. This person is also someone who will push-back, bring clarity, ask questions, challenge when needed, and make us better.
Some of you think this has to be a good friend that you hang out with all the time and that’s definitely an option, but it doesn’t have to be. It could be a counselor; it could be someone you really respect and is wise, but you don’t hang out with him/her. It could be a spiritual advisor; it could be your spouse (not always a good idea, but I get why this works for some). The point is don’t limit yourself to thinking a Safe Person has to fit a certain mold, or you have to be super close, etc.
Transparence & Vulnerability
I love people who are REAL. I try very hard myself to be a person who is transparent and vulnerable with others. I think people who have learned how to have these attributes in their lives are a breath of fresh air. Many of us live “guarded” lives and as a result we haven’t ever learned how to love more deeply. The more protected I am the less people can get to know me, see my faults, have to work through the hard spots and all this does is prevent me from being more authentically human. However, when we realize that I’m not that “special” and we all need others in our lives we start to soften the internal armor and allows us to treat people with more care.
I can’t tell you how many times I hear people talk about building up walls so they don’t get burned again, or I’m never going to allow a person to hurt me like he/she did. This is scary to me. One, let’s face it, reality is that all of us will get hurt by others. People will let us down, they will say things they regret, they will do things that sting and we will always have the choice to become HARDENED or to work through the issues with the person. If I don’t understand what it means to be broken and I think I have it all together, then I will not be able to love people where they’re at. IF I’m so guarded that I don’t let people in, this is not love. This is self-preservation. I’ve made these statements in my past and I know what it’s like to be guarded, but thankfully in the past many years, I’ve made strides in recognizing the value of brokenness, of humility, of transparency and vulnerability. I have a long way to go, but I can honestly tell you that it’s so much better on this side. I can love more freely; I can forgive more easily; and I can accept people more readily.
What’s stopping you from lowering your guard and knocking down your personal walls?
